manicures

Walking contradiction

Ballet and boxing.

Fred Astaire, Sylvie Guillem and Ronda Rousey.

Eminem, Pink, Taylor Swift, Dave Matthews Band, Stromae, Adèle, Bare Naked Ladies, Eva Cassidy, Beyoncé, Tracy Chapman, Florence and the Machine, David Guetta, Daft Punk, Linkin Park, Jay-Z, Kanye West, RHCP, Kendrick Lamar… Verdi, Pucini, Shostakovich, Prokofiev, Chopin, Sibelius, Dvorak, Elgar, Mahler, Grieg; I could correctly identify any of Beethoven vs Brahm vs Tchaikovsky’s violin concertos by the age of 11, but I only discovered Michael Jackson at the age of 17.

I’m a loud introvert.

I have a fabulous collection of high heels and be-au-ti-ful evening dresses, but my favorite footware, if I HAVE to wear any at all, is flip-flops.

I hate being late for shows/concerts or missing previews at the movie theatres. If I show up only 15-45 minutes late to any type of social event, I congratulate myself on my punctuality.

I lifeguarded outdoors for 5 summers even though I am prone to heat and sun-strokes.

I hate paying attention to detail. My career is in finance and accounting, and most of the time, I love it.

I will fight tooth and nail to avoid losing an argument yet am miserable when people don’t like me.

I love lifting weights, and feeling strong. I love being an Amazon. I am prone to bouts of incredible body self-hatred, believing I am too big to be attractive. Yet I am a proud feminist who firmly believes a woman’s worth is not defined by either her looks or the appreciation of men for her looks.

Today, I went to the gym, and proudly squatted more than one of the guys in my weightlifting/conditioning class; I’ve already identified the next guy that I plan on out-lifting. Then I went home, and gave myself a mani-pedi (peach and lavendar, in case y’all are wondering).

Girliest Beast Mode EVER.

#owningit

#gemini

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I don’t handle diets well

I’ve decided to clean up my diet and shed the 10lbs that I put on over the past year. Basically, I want to get back to where I was at my 30th birthday, so that I can convincingly state this year that I am celebrating my 30th birthday a second time, without people comparing pictures from the 2 celebrations and catching on to my little ploy.

Fueling my motivation to shed 10 is my desire to once again step into the ring and fight this fall, and those 10lbs have most definitely been holding me back when I spar. They gotta go! To make matters worse (better?), my coach requested that I take “before” pictures in a sports bra & shorts last week, to track my progress as I begin a new weightlifting and conditioning program. I resisted that idea for several days – claiming all kinds of excuses from my inability to take selfies (true) to my phone died (convenient). Coach insisted and I gave in to his request, and when I saw those pics my eyes bled, my soul was bruised and I cried. That is when I realized that shedding 10 was my priority for the summer.

Of course, I handled that realization with maturity, and grace.

After getting a mani/pedi, a most excellent way to pamper a bruised soul, I decided I was allowed one last blow-out cheat meal, before embarking on the cleanest of clean diets. I treated myself to, amongst many things, chicken wings and cheese and wine. The chicken wings were deliciously greasy, and I was very hungry, and I took a big bite, and somehow my greasy fingers slipped and I ended up biting my finger and wrecking my beautiful manicure.

 Notice the teeth marks on my middle finger.

Wrecking a 2-hour old manicure through cannibalism is most definitely a sign that a recalibration of my diet is in order.

Sigh. Life is very hard.