Beaut debrief: where I realize Coach is wise, I’m insecure and my therapist will be rich

Beaut and I: dunzo. Like any self-respecting anxious person, I’ve worked myself up about 2 things over which I have zero control: What if Beaut ruined it for me: he was by far the most beautiful guy I’ve ever been with, possibly the most attractive guy I’ve ever met. I’ve always believed I couldn’t land […]

BPD series: a case study

“Vanilla, please tell me. You’ve been sitting next to me, crying for 2.5 hours straight. What is going on?” Gotta hand it to ICB. My go-to gal, Allie, is out of town. Yesterday, I needed a safe space to feel seen and accepted. ICB was my substitute. Unphased, he played video games as I curled […]

New Year’s Resolution: investing in myself through meaningful experiences

I know, I know, it’s almost February, and here I am mentioning New Year’s Resolutions. What can I say? It’s been a bit of a hectic start to the year, and I am a little behind in my posting. I’ve been really taking the time to think through where I want to take my life […]

BPD series: the ability to see colors

I adulted! 6 months after ICB gave me the best present of my life, I looked up a store that does frames. I felt like such a grown up, discussing standard frame sizes, methods, style. I was so excited. I learned mounting a painting onto a frame requires time: it would be available for pickup […]

BPD series: understanding the role of dance in my life

I went dancing on Saturday. For the first time in 5 weeks. Before that? I’d only gone dancing a handful of times this summer as work was ramping up. The last time I went to Teacher‘s dance school was in July. I miss it so much it hurts. But what with work, I just can’t […]

BPD series: professional consequences

I had an”episode” this week. At work. The term “borderline” was first employed more than sixty years ago to describe patients who were on the border between psychotic and neurotic but could not be adequately classified as either. Unlike psychotic patients who were chronically divorced from reality, and neurotic patients, who responded more consistently to […]

Phase 5 feels like accountability

On Monday I had a series of doctors appointments. I got bitched out by a nurse at one point, “Oh, so you know about the importance of exercise when it comes to mental health? Yet you are only exercising 1x a week? I see. And you know about the link of sugar and carbs on […]