That time I said I’d go on a diet

After his Gindungo festival, Teacher put together a dance squad of his most advanced Mtl students, and is training us to perform at local and regional events/festivals. It’s the next step in our growth as dancers. I’m part of the squad. Weeee!

At the first practice, Teacher looked us over, and suggested that we hit the gym, because:

Y’know, guys, dancers, we are supposed to be sexy. So let’s look sexy. All that “what’s sexy is what is on the inside?” No. Not for dancing, ok? Have a nice personality on the inside, but lets be sexy on the outside too, ok? The audience, they won’t know that you have sexy insides. And some of you guys, umm, maybe you could put on some muscle? You don’t want the audience to wonder if the girl would break you if she fell on you. And as for you ladies, you know what works really well? Starvation. I am serious! When I notice that I am getting a little too chubby, I just don’t eat. You get used to hunger, it really isn’t that bad. Try it. Starve yourselves a little bit. I do it all the time.

And Vanilla, yes, this includes you. I know you fitter than all the guys here, but you also a big girl, and I’m pretty sure all the bros here would really appreciate if you weighed 10-15lbs less on the lifts?

Ahem. Bro, find me a partner that isn’t wee then. Not my fault the average height of the males on the dance squad is 5’7”… 2 inches shorter than me!

Teacher has a way with words.


At practice on Tuesday, we learned a cool trick of kicking our legs high into the air, while our partner lifted us. Really, most of the momentum and effort is by the girl, but nevertheless, the guy has to be solid and support our weight for a fraction of a second. I felt bad for my partner, who reassured me that it really wasn’t that bad. I comforted him that usually I am lighter than this: I’ve put on 10lbs since Dubai because heavy workload at the job= stress-eating. I promised him I would shed the weight by our next show.

I meant it.

I can’t explain, therefore, why I have eaten TWO lunches EVERY day since Tuesday’s practice… #starvationalmost

Every time I try diet… Every single time.

Tonight, I’m going for deep-friend mac’n’cheese and drinks with DD. #mykindofstarvation

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8 comments

  1. I would have throat kicked him. Starvation is not the trick. Your body starts to feed off of your muscle, which turns into fat. Not only that, but women are naturally built bigger than men, as far as bone structure. We carry children for fucks sake.

    I hope you enjoy your deep-fried everything. Add a third lunch to your regimen if you want. I’d love to video a middle finger to him.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Bahahahaha isn’t he ridiculous???

      His legs are thinner than mine. Beautiful man, but we do not all spend 60 hours dancing a week…

      The funniest part? He had no idea he had offended 100% of the squad. The guys for being emasculated babies, and the girls for not being perfect.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Don’t stress Nilla, keep eating well but just make sure to sweat it out after w/(ur kuduro hipsπŸ˜…). Then we gonna find new techniques to optimize ur athletic bodyπŸ˜‹πŸ’ƒπŸΌ 😜!!!
    Ps:
    #hey, slim doesn’t mean good dancer btw!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hahaha, yeah I have resumed healthy eating, but in absurd quantities. Baby steps.

      I’m not tooo worried. I’ve been through this cycle before. Can’t have it all: so when work is crazy, the weight slides a bit. Just sucks for my dance partner. Once work settles down, the weight will melt off.

      Kuduro really is life. πŸ‘ŠπŸ‘πŸ‘

      Like

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