Everyone warned me about the food in Beirut: it is in a class of its own. Every day, I’ve said I’ll eat a reasonable amount of food. Every day, I’ve eaten the most decadent, delicious, salty food in obscene quantities. I’ve redefined my concept of bloating. Despite working out every day, for at least an hour, sometimes even twice a day, I’ve a much fuller figure, due to the insane water retention.
Dynamo’s wedding is in 7 hours. My dress. My tight, non-stretch, sexy dress. How to fit into it?! (Never mind sitting in it, or dancing. One step at a time.)
Easy. Move into the hotel sauna, for an hour or two. Refrain from imbibing any liquids or foods other than coffee during the day.
Who cares if my face is the same shade of red as the painting in the background? That is what makeup is for.
Cutting weight for a boxing fight is less intense than the preparation for this wedding.
Recap of all previous posts related to the Trip To See Dynamo Lawfully Wedded: Who’d Have Ever Guessed He’d Find A Woman Crazy Enough To Marry Him.
- Day 1: Turkish culture clash
- Day 2: Justified panic attacks and beautiful weather
- Day 3: White girls are slutty, obvi
- Day 4: Boxing gyms are my happy place