Opera and chill

Once upon a time I noticed a be-au-ti-ful man at a boxing party at my gym. Over the months, I ran into him at various events: the Montreal boxing scene is a small one, even the friends of friends and groupies get to know one another. I never spoke to him, both because of a reluctance to pander to the (presumed) ego of beautiful men, and because my own deep-seated insecurities told me he was out of my league. (Off-topic: this blog has been extremely useful in identifying my unhelpful thought patterns. Case in point.)

At a boxing Halloween party last month, he spoke to me briefly. Well, actually, he tried to steal some of my candy, and I reflexively stiff-armed him out of the way. Beauty < candy, obvi. Realizing that I’d mildly overreacted, I chatted long enough to prove I was capable of normal social behaviour and then I ended the convo to continue my pursuit of alcohol and KitKats.

Feeling ballsy, I added him on Facebook and then forgot to stalk his profile. He messaged me a week later, much to my glee. (That isn’t an exaggeration. I was at a wedding, and I squealed loudly when I saw his name on my phone. Don’t judge me.) Over the next few days there was typical fun banter until the moment when, after discovering we live close to one another, and are approximately neighbours, he asked me if that was my slick way of inviting him over.

No. No, it wasn’t. I’m a classy lady, bro.

He replied that inviting someone over was not a matter of class. Conceding his point, I warned him that the whole “Netflix & chill” would never happen – but that if we upgraded it to “opera & chill” (the classier version), I’d consider it. I thought I was being hilarious. No man under the age of 50 in his right mind would willingly sit through 3 hours of opera, no matter what the incentive. Right?!  Wrong. Turns out Beaut enjoys trying new things, and expanding his horizons.

Ladies and gents, we went to see Verdi’s Il Trovatore broadcasted from New York City’s Met (check out details here, to find out if movie theatres near you are participating).

I was pretty amused by the unexpected turn of events. I couldn’t picture Beaut sitting through THREE HOURS of this:

My friends took bets. He’d last 15 minutes. He’d arrange for an emergency SOS call 35 mins into the performance. He’d have me arrested for cruel and unusual treatment.

My friends all lost their bets. Instead, Beaut watched the entire thing, and peppered the evening with his hilarious commentary:

This stuff is really dramatic, isn’t it. I mean, these people really go over the top with their emotions, it’s just too much! Out of the 4 main singers up on stage now, and all those backup singers, how is it that NOT ONE of them spoke up to say, “You guys. Stop it. Stop trying to kill each other. Let’s explore some other alternatives, ok?”

How come opera always involves a love triangle where one or more people die? Love is supposed to be beautiful. I mean, if I loved you, I wouldn’t try kill you, I’d suggest we have a baby.

This guy. How come he can’t accept that she’s just not into him?! Move on, bro! Enough singing about her, she ain’t gonna change her mind. Where is your pride? Never run after a woman. Especially not for 4 acts! If I wrote an opera, it would be 3 pages long. One page to introduce the characters and the setting. One page to explain who loves who. And no love triangle! My guy, when realizing that the woman isn’t into him, would say “Ok” and then go find himself a woman who liked him. The end.

Amazing.

Yet after all that, all three and a half hours of opera, Beaut did not get any chill. Paralyzed by sudden social anxiety (as tends to happen to me on dates – remember the garbage truck or the standup comic?), it took all my efforts to give him a chaste kiss on the cheek. Poor dear. I can’t even imagine what this story looks like from his end. It’s like he went to the opera with a female Mr. Bean.

I think it’s safe to say that last night was a series of surprises, for both of us.

#operaandchillisathing

#exceptwhenitsnot

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25 comments

  1. OK….this right here…..is awesome! 😀 Either this guy is really…really horny or he actually digs you and has 😀 Good on you for keeping it classy! And good on you for protecting your candy…both in the literal and umm not so literal sense lol Take note ladies! lol Love this story and I’m glad we’ve crossed paths today 🙂 This gives me hope for the world…I may sound a bit dramatic but honestly….the dating scene is so…ugh….having flashbacks of my POF days….oh the shame! lol Cheers! I’m crossing my fingers for updates! 🙂

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    1. Hahaha, thanks!

      I know, I can’t tell if this guy is an elite player or a good guy. I made him read my blog before going to the opera (specifically the post called “the accidental chastity belt”), bc I felt it was only fair that he know that a) I am vanilla b) I don’t sleep around and c) that if he pisses me off I WILL write about him.

      And he still came to the opera. And he has slowly been going through the rest of my blog, as though he cared about my personality.

      Really confused. Time will tell.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Opera is a great way to find out how into someone you are or vice versa! I had actually never been to the opera before meeting Adam and I hated it as a child. Well, one of my first dates with Adam ended up being to the opera. I forgot my ticket in his friend’s car, we had no time to go back and get it and he had to charm me in past the ticket collector (it was an open rehearsal for students and free, so it wasn’t too hard to get me in) and I was oh, so embarrassed. Miraculously, he still wanted to see me after discovering what a scatter brain I can be sometimes and I actually quite enjoyed the opera and we’ve been to at least a dozen others since then. So my suggestion? Go see another opera with Beaut! It’s a great way to strengthen a relationship…especially if the opera turns out to be a bad one, then you can enjoy laughing your asses off at it together.

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    1. Cute story! We’ll see. I don’t want to get ahead of myself here.
      Beaut handled it like a champ, but I doubt I could ever convince him to go to another.

      (it was AMAZING. it punched me right in the solar plexus.)

      Like

  3. A guy knows you might blog about him? Then, he sits through three hours of opera? Not only is he an amazing guy, but, besides your winning personality–which I am not underestimating, by any means–I’m thinking you have got to be some kind of hot. Way beyond your every day hot.

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    1. Hahahaa, no no. I’m alright. I have my hot moments, but I ain’t no Megan Fox.

      But yes, he is kinda amazing. He has read all the posts about Beaut, and has encouraged me to write them as life actually happened – no modifications required, to protect his privacy, because, he says, he likes my writing just the way it is.

      SWOON!!!!!

      Liked by 1 person

      1. If I weren’t so flat-affect right now from depression, I’d muster up some envy. Instead, I’m left with only happiness for you, which the misanthropist in me begrudges, but–here, that depression is the hero!–hasn’t enough energy to really resent.
        😀

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      2. Oh how I understand!!!!

        I think that is why I am so incredibly bemused and happy and perplexed by this Beaut saga. I spend so long being so depressed, feeling so cut-off from the world, that to be ABLE to explore anything with him, to be ABLE to be vulnerable enough for there to be possibilities and opportunities… feels amazing. And that, to top it off, I get to explore vulnerability with a BEAUTIFUL man who doesn’t seem to be a jackass?! Mind blown. None of this would have been possible, even 5 months ago – I was still too unhappy, still too caught up in pulling myself out of my latest depressive episode.

        I have no idea how long this Beaut thing will last, but it does feel close to a miracle all of this. For once, the Universe cut me some slack.

        Liked by 1 person

      3. I won’t cross my fingers for you, in case my children were right and I’m a Jonah (they were not right), but I will continue to live my life and make my decisions as best I can. This practically guarantees more Bad Luck Magnetism–the episodes I blogged about were only a small sample. Since you are in my circle, the magnetism will generate its polar opposite your way : )

        It is possible I may also say a prayer. Can’t hurt.

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  4. Uhh… I’m guessing it didn’t work out with this guy? But he sounds like a keeper, so it makes me sad we won’t get more of him on the blog!

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    1. Nah, there is a whole section under “Dating Misadventures” dedicated to Beaut. He had a solid run, a 15 month presence in my life. Lots of stories, some hilarious, some less so.

      He mattered.

      Like

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