I bought him as a cheer-up gift for a co-worker who’d recently suffered a loss in her family. When I first saw him, I thought his name was Humphrey, but my coworker corrected me. His name is Ben, short for Benjamin.
Poor Ben has had an interesting start to life. I purchased him on the way to the gym one night, so OF COURSE I had to introduce him to all the boxers after class. You’d think this would have cemented my role as the most Vanilla person ever, but nope! Apart from the dude working the reception area, who looked horrified at the presence of a teddy-hedgehog at the gym, all of the dudes crowded around Ben trying to touch his fabulous Mohawk, and making noises not too different from the noises women make when they see a cute baby or puppy. Even Coach! I had to fend the boys off, didn’t want them putting their sweaty hands all over handsome Ben.
On the walk home, Ben and I got flashed (all the gory details can be read here). My moral outrage was palpable! I tried to shield Ben’s eyes through the shopping bag, because his innocence should never be tarnished!!! A teddy-hedgehog’s sweetness is priceless and fragile! It must be cherished. He seems to have survived the episode relatively unscathed. (When I say I am not that Vanilla, I’m actually comparing myself to a stuffed animal. “Y’all, I’m so hood I make stuffed animals seem naive.”)
Ben has integrated very quickly into the team at work. There was a little friction between him and Alphonse, but they’re cool now.
Pfft, and they say accountants are anti-social!