That time I went bathing suit shopping… and came home with a book

I am not a runner. The thought of all that bone-rattling effort makes my joints ache. Which is why, when I signed up for a 10km run in Quebec city last summer, friends and family were somewhat perplexed: was I sure I would put in the required training? Enthusiastically, I assured them I would: I was committed.

Yeah, no, turns out I wasn’t. I went running a total of 4 times prior to that race: the highlight of my training happened the day I decided I needed to recover from the exertion of getting dressed in my running gear – I took a book and sat at a terrasse at the nearby coffee shop, and read outside in the toasty sun. Unfortunately, the book was engrossing, and I wasn’t wearing a hat, so all that exposure to the sun really tired me out. It was unsafe to go running after that much sun: wouldn’t want to risk a heat-stroke, after-all!

Vegas!

Two weeks ago, I impulsively booked 4-day getaway to Vegas with DD: we’ll be flying towards trouble next week. I was pretty stoked until my bestie advised me (right as I was taking my first bite of deep-fried chocolate ice-cream!) that pool parties are the thing to do in Vegas.

summer readyI figured 2.5 weeks would be enough time to starve myself into sexy style but I underestimated the power of two Easters (Catholic Easter last week – celebrated with my godmama’s Italian family, and Orthodox Easter this week celebrated with my old man). Starvation didn’t happen, and I’m leaving in 5 days. Only one option remained:

BATHING SUIT SHOPPING.

I don’t consider myself a very big coward. But some things are really unpleasant. I find the idea of stripping down in front of a guy for the first time to be much less intimidating than going to a pool full of people and flaunting my jiggly bits, especially if that pool is in Vegas, chock-full of beautiful plastic people. Only marginally less traumatic is the activity of bathing suit shopping: once I am at the pool party, it’s too late to worry anyhow, especially after 1-2 drinks to dull the nerves. I think bathing suit stores should start serving hard alcohol: guaranteed increased sales, and terrible lapses in judgment.

The shopping saga

DD suggested that I get a one-piece, as the option of not attending a pool party due to bathing suit insecurities was clearly ineligible. This morning, therefore, I did some research and found several one-piece models that seemed affordable and sexy, and set off on my quest in an almost cheerful frame of mind, confident that it would only take me 2-3 tries before finding the perfect suit.

After 10 bathing suits, my confidence was wavering and I was late for boxing. Putting aside the unpleasant task, I went to get punched in the face for an hour – much less upsetting than bathing suit shopping.

After boxing, I felt strong and powerful, able to take on anything. I sallied forth to the first store on my list; moved briskly onto the second; grumpily onto the third; despairingly onto the forth. After trying on 50 bathing suits, I was ready to cancel the entire Vegas trip, and was convinced my body shape was horribly unique: all one pieces made me look frumpy, and most of them were too long for my torso while being simultaneously too tight around my average-sized bust.

I sought refuge in Indigo book store. 45 minutes later, I finally had my first purchase of the day: a book.

I considered abandoning my bathing suit quest, but didn’t want to repeat the same fail as I had last summer, when faced with a similar unpleasant obligation. Girding my loins, I decided to give it one last try. 30 bathing suits later, I purchased a bikini!

CONCLUSION: Vegas had better be amazing, to compensate for the mental trauma I went through today. Also? I’m really excited to read my new book.

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9 comments

  1. Yay! So glad to hear you scored twice. A bikini and good book in one day is celebration worthy. Good thing you’re heading to VEGAS! Be sure to waterproof the book. I hear crazy stuff happens out there. And stays there too.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Pretty sure the book will only make an appearance on the plane rides; hopefully, I’ll be entirely too busy over there to read.

      I have this little anxiety that I will manage to be the only person who has a tame time in Vegas. Oh, the shame!

      Like

  2. I would imagine that getting punched in the face would be far more enjoyable than bathing suit shopping. At least your trip is spur of the moment. We were booked to go to a destination wedding in the Dominican Republic six months ahead, and I still didn’t get my butt into shape. After tear-inducing bathing suit shopping I opted for the bikini I have had for years. And the truth is you are right…after a few cocktails you really forget what you’re wearing and how you look in it! Have a blast!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Finding a bathing suit, unless you are under five years of age, makes most of us suffer…glad to hear you found a bikini you liked… Have a safe and good trip to Las Vegas. Con cariño…

    Liked by 1 person

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