So many updates are required, before starting the New Year!
Update #1: I am not qualified yet to give props
Despite Nene’s patient ways, and constant coaching in all things hip and urban, Coach recently brushed me off as I tried to give him props. He walked past me, glancing at my hand, and shook his head: “No, you are still too vanilla to give props.” Denied.
But luckily for me…
Update #2: Nene has joined the blogosphere
Nene the Wise has joined the blogosphere (for a link to his blog, click here). His wisdom can now be shared with all of the interweb.
P.S. his mention of Bug? That’s me! (Hopefully he meant a cute bug, like a ladybug or a junebug – not a nasty bug like a cockroach or a centipede.)
Update #3: Snerdy and fancy
Coach’s brother hosted a vernissage of urban art recently. It was fun, the artists were really interesting (check out my favorite artist’s Facebook page here).
A few days later, a friend’s sent me a link with pictures from the event. I clicked through them: everyone looked hip, totally at ease with the setting – except for moi: my pose is precious and dainty, as though I am at a fine arts museum. My friend agreed – I looked snerdy: smiling and nerdy.
Nene clicked through the photos and opined that what with Bolshoi Nutcracker ballets and my snerdy poses, I am undoubtedly bougie. Sulking, I told him to come up with another adjective. Vanilla was bad enough, I refused to be vanilla and bougie.
He pondered my request for a few moments: “How about ‘pretentious’?” How about: no.
Another boxer jumped into the conversation and proposed that I am fancy. I wasn’t sure that was a good thing… until Jimmy Kimmel translated Iggy Azalea’s “Fancy” lyrics for old people. I am still not sure that it is a good thing.
Update #4: Stranger is MIA
So far, in the 2014-2015 boxing season, my gym has hosted two boxing galas. I kept my eyes peeled, alert, ready to do a civilian drug-bust, but nope: Stranger did not appear and therefore there was no show-down between Stranger and Coach. Both galas were peaceful boxing events. How quaint.
Update #5: Coach has an intimidating duck face
Coach hosted a Christmas party at the gym, drinks and foodstuffs galore, wowie! It was almost exactly like when Mr.T became one of Santa’s helpers.
Coach was working the bar and having fun until an unfamiliar dude peremptorily requested a drink by grunting and shoving his glass under Coach’s nose. I sat back and prepared to be amused.
Coach stilled and slowly turned towards Grunter. “I’ve never seen you before. Do you know who I am?” Grunter hesitated, lowering his glass uncertainly.
“I’m the BOSS.” Visions of Lonely Island’s excellent song of that same name danced in my mind, although I’m pretty sure I should’ve been thinking of the Rick Ross version of the song. A few minutes later, after getting a short lesson on “please and thank you”, Grunter scuttled off.
In re-telling this story to a few boxers, several drinks later, Coach claimed he’d been obliged to use his “intimidating face” on Grunter. Skeptical that he’d needed to do anything at all after declaring, rightfully and awesomely, his status as The Boss, we requested to see this infamous face of his. The version we were shown looked remarkably like a duck face, a very angry duck.
I’m pretty sure Coach was joking. But that’s the thing with Coach, you’re never quite sure.
That’s all for now, folks. I’m looking forward to 2015, to return to my awesome boxing family, and hopefully train for a few more fights. Maybe learn a hip-hop song or two (possibly from Nene’s blog!), and watch several ballets.
Happy New Year, blogosphere! Wishing everyone health and laughter.