I just navigated another typical week on Plenty of Fish. Out of the many messages I received, below are the highlights from this past week.
(n.b. The messages are carbon copies of what I received in my POF inbox. I have merely made minor adjustments in punctuation and typos, to spare your eyes.)
Case study #1
Maximisio, aged 29, writes: “I challenge you to a boxing match.”
My response: ” How romantic! No thanks.”
Maximisio persists: “I was gonna let you punch me around lol”
My response: “Still romantic.”
Maximisio tries one last time: “Ok poutine at La Banquise, then ice cream. Romantic enough? 🙂 ”
My response: “No, I’m good. Thanks.”
Here’s the thing. On my profile, I have a blurry pic of me in my boxing gear. I also have included boxing in my interests. I understand that this is an unusual hobby, and I appreciate that guys make an effort to talk to me about my interests. 1 brownie point for them. However, I find the method so insulting, it negates any brownie points they got for even looking at my profile in the first place. Had my picture been one of me winning a more traditionally “female” sport, like tennis, or figure skating, no dude would ever EVER think to start an opening line that is a variation of “Hi, you intimidate me” or “Hi, you will derive enjoyment from hitting me”. Put it another way… if a girl were to message a similar thing to a guy who has pictures of him wrestling or fighting, I doubt he would be flattered, or think highly of her intelligence in starting a conversation that way. Intimidation, be it real or presumed, just never is a sexy topic to be associated with.
Case study #2
Whatsupmax, aged 35 writes:
“Bonne fin de semaine.
Si tu es ouverte à une relation sérieuse chocolat au lait, je suis peut-être celui que tu recherches. Si tu n’es pas ouverte à de telle relations, tu devrais lire l’article de La Presse de cette semaine qui disait que les filles qui sont en couple avec un black sont plus heureuses dans la vie. 🙂
Once you go black, you can’t go back, disent certaines filles. 🙂
N.B. je n’ai pas mentionné sur mon profil que je suis policier, je te le dis au cas où tu sois allergique aux policiers. 🙂”
Now that is a great sell.
Case study #3 – an actual date!
I went on a date this week with a dude that had read my blog! 10 brownie points for him, for reading my online profile and then reading my blog and then commenting on my blog. So yes. I will admit. I was rather blinded by flattery. He promised that he would not wear sweatpants, but jeans, and real shoes. 20 brownie points for him! Let’s do this date!
Our meeting place was at the Chapters downtown, so that we’d both have something to do, should the other be slightly late. I was late. – 5 brownie points for me.
He was wearing nice jeans, and very nice dress shoes. All in all, the outfit was most acceptable. Except he was wearing pitch dark sunglasses. In Chapters. At 6pm. He walked towards me with an ever-so-slight swagger, pulled off his sunglasses and slowly smiled. I think he was going for a Clint Eastwood vibe. -3 brownie points for him.
We sought out a terrasse to have a drink. We slipped into a mutual job interview mode. I began to feel antsy, wondering how to gently make my escape. And then my focus snapped back when he stated he wants to be a writer. Amazing! Common ground. He doesn’t yet know what his book will be about – fair enough, I have trouble coming up with short blog posts. He has read that volume is the key to writing, and with time and practice, out of that volume, good bits start to appear, and gradually, something worthwhile is born – agreed, so what has he been writing, to generate volume? Well, nothing. He wrote two beautiful verses for a rap song though.
I ended the date soon after that – best to leave on a high note!
Despite such amusing moments, I think it is time for a wee break from the world of online dating. This past venture was my shortest, a mere 2 weeks. The longer I stay single on these sites, the more it wears me down, and diminishes my hope in humanity. OR, my negative worldview could simply be caused by the fact that I am writing this on a Saturday morning, before having had my cup of coffee.
The future will tell.